COVID 19: Enough already.

Yes.  I am definitely feeling “Pandemic Fatigue.”  I’ve found myself more irritable and tired.  Thinking ahead with dread to the months ahead.  Wondering if life will ever feel “normal” again.  Sound familiar?

My mom shared this graphic with me, that nicely captures the stages many of us are experiencing.  In the earliest days of the pandemic, many of us found ourselves in “survival mode.”   We felt anxious about our health and how to keep ourselves safe.    We began to experience sadness and grief, for all of the losses we experienced socially, financially, professionally, physically.  We did not have any life experience to prepare us for what we were going through, leading us to feel powerless and sad.   

Either because of my personality or the work that I do, “survival mode” is not a state that I can stay in for long.  I began to try to accept the reality of the times and  re-imagine my life under the new circumstances.  Playing games with friends over zoom.   Seeing my clients over Zoom.  Establishing routines within our family.  Prioritizing self-care and staying connected. 

I began to see COVID-19 as an opportunity.  This is an experience we will look back on for generations.   I wanted to be able to look back and feel I found something of value in this hardship.  We began to appreciate the ways that working from home allowed us to focus on different things.  Our garden has never looked better.  Our daughters are growing into young women that we know.  We found ways to safely travel to visit with some close friends and extended family.  What was once a hope for a family trip to Europe is now a chance t to see some of the amazing national parks and beauty in the world closer to home.

So why am I back in this place?  Maybe it is the new school year and the chaos around the plan.  Maybe it is realizing that there is not a definitive end in sight with the pandemic.  Maybe it is recognizing that this winter we will have to “hunker down” again without the opportunities that the outdoors allow us.  Our emotional response to the pandemic is not a linear process.  Like grief, we experience a cycling through these stages as we continue to experience hardship.  This is normal.  We, too, can cycle back to the ways we coped in the beginning.  And trust that we can move toward growth again.  And again.